ugh HMO

Why does it have to be true that you get what you pay for?
I know it's not 100% of the time.
But lately it seems my experience with HMO it has been 99.9% of the time.
I don't get health insurance rules and regulations.
I had PPO before I was married and lived the high life.
I rarely get sick. Besides eye doctor and dentist I may not even go to the doctor every year.
But since PPO family is insanely priced we have HMO family.
In a few weeks I will have been married for 2 years.
And it seems recently I have been getting the beat down by the HMO wall.


Some things don't even make sense...
Having to choose a doctor arbitrarily and be stuck with that person.
I don't know about anyone else but the way I choose doctors, hair stylist, estheticians, etc is usually by friend or family referral. I have never looked in the phone book or now online and just picked a person by name alone and closeness to where I lived. But that's what they ask you to do. 
I really do not like my doctor. 
That you have to go to your primary doctor before you can see a specialist.
During my PPO life the only doctors I saw regularly were a dermatologist and gynecologist. I really like both of them. But my derm only takes PPO so our relationship had to end. And my HMO primary doctor it ended up taking 2 visits to get a referral to a dermatologist. Why because he told me he knew what I needed and refused to give the referral. Oh and FYI, he was wrong. 
If you are having a medical eye problem you have to go to primary doctor  first and get referred to your eye doctor.
So yesterday I found out about this rule. I have been having problems with my eyes when I wear my contacts, even if it's a brand new pair. So I made an appointment with my eye doctor.  I have PPO for vision insurance. When I get there she is like oh you have HMO medical we don't take that. You'll have to pay out of pocket. ARGH the randomness! I call my insurance to get clarification and they restate what she said but then tell I might not even get referred back to my current eye doctor. What in the world? Does that make any sense? 
You can only switch doctor's once a year.
I did this yesterday because I wasn't going back to random man (the dr. who doesn't like to get referrals and knows everything). I actually was able to get a friend recommendation. All is well. Right? WRONG
What's the deal with only certain days for new patients?
The earliest I can get in is August 31. I am having an eye issue in July. I used to be able to go to urgent care for the same cost as an office visit. But with my current group there is no urgent care only emergency room visit which are $55 more than an office visit. Not to mention the time investment of waiting with a non emergency in the ER.


Every single issue I have does not exist with PPO. 
Why is there such a discrepancy?
So I am frustrated today. The good thing that came out of the events of this week is that I have a new highly recommended doctor if I ever have to go see her.